Tuesday, October 5, 2010

The Good, The Bad, The Pessimistic

Prepare for another exciting twist in the magical world of depression! I am completely...fine. I mean it. No bad thoughts. No dreams of me getting shot. No daydreams of slowly slicing my arm with a razor blade or slowly killing myself with pills. Nothing.

Regular days and thoughts and feeling like this are blissful compared to my usual state. I feel a smile tug at the corners of my mouth. I find things funny. I can tease cute boys about the color of their sweater. I can joke with girls in my class over the fascinatingly weird nature of our professor. It's a nice feeling.

But I am not so naive to believe my days will always be like this. It's a waiting game, where no one wins. I try to soak up as much pleasurable normalcy I can before that wave crashes over my head again and I am drowning in a see of cliche thoughts that always come hand and hand with my depressing relapses.

Even when I feel relatively good I am pessimist.

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